May 2013
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
April 2013
When you finish an essay at like 3:00 AM
westbor0baptistchurch:
Seeing people having fun without u.
sylphh:
Does anyone else get really paranoid in public restrooms because you think the person next to you is silently judging how loud your pee stream is
katnissandhermione:
i just realised there are more nipples in the world than there are people
pornographicthursday:
burgrs:
i thought i left my ipod in the theater so we went back to look for it and i couldn’t see so i turned on my ipod to give me some light so i could find my ipod do u see where this is going because i did not
aw lucky i wish i had two ipods
*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary
desintegrer:
desintegrer:
guess who has a boyfriend
if you guessed me you guessed wrong
marinasexual:
story time
i got my first period on april fools day & no one in my house believed me so i sat in my bathroom all day crying
goblinparty:
I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities
bonushumor:
f is for friends who do stuff without you
u is for ur alone
n is no one wants to be with you because all you do is sit at home
sometimes i have self esteem but then i see a person
crabsitckz:
hopelessbaka:
at least gravity is attracted to me
*floats away*
wankbankofamerica:
reasons i tend to not talk
people always interrupt me to tell another story because apparently my story isn’t good enough for their ears
i sound like an idiot who just learned to talk two hours ago
people seem disinterested in what i’m saying
i hate my voice
i have something really mean to say
i hate you
i repeat because this happens a lot: people interrupt me and never...
solluxsmatesprit:
i hate when you have to order at a restaurant, but all the menu items have really goofy or long names. like wtf its so embarrassing to look your waiter in the eyes and be like “yes i’ll have Uncle Jimmy’s Finger Lickin’ Rib Ticklin Hootin-n-Hollerin’ Cajun Heat Super Stack Supreme Cheese Burger.”
tamarma:
gun-crazy-scholar:
dirkology:
karkats-fabulous-choice-ass:
dirkology:
is no one going to talk about the man who ran for president this year who wore a boot on his head and wanted everyone to get free ponies
I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS ANDN I FOUNF AGAIN.
WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK
He tossed glitter all over a guy who was against same sex marriage on live TV...
March 2013
phaserburn:
My taste in music ranges from “you need to listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”
IS NOONE GOING TO MENTION HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT? DO YOU STARE IN THE LEFT OR THE RIGHT IDK
excuse me but since when did music become this big competition about taste and stuff why can’t we just listen to what we want to if you like bieber go listen to him if you like led zeppelin go ahead listen to them if you like my chem go ahead listen to them fuck if you like sex sounds made by whales go ahead listen to it music is supposed to be fun
Walking into class on the first day of school and...
laugh-addict:
and you’re just like
